the results

my 30 day surrender pact is up.

here's what happened-

i learned that i need to ask and work for what i want, not just be happy with all that is offered.

i mean, by all means, be happy for the offerings! and... i need to work a little more on being less passive.

part of being open meant releasing- sometimes releasing hope, sometimes releasing nonsense. i had to release the notion that my friends can fulfill all of my relationship needs. summer and michelle are off being blissed out with others, and i realized how much stock i was putting in all of us being single for a while.

i met some folks. went out with some folks. will be going out again with some folks. its been great.

here's my task list-

• find my footing.
• stop accepting nonsense from folks. better opportunites will come. even if they don't, it's better than nonsense.
• stop waiting for folks to initiate everything, no matter what the stakes or arena or intent. get to know the woman i've wanted to get to know for three months. oh, and stop looking away every time she talks to me. or when she's so kindly introducing me to everyone at knitting group.
• keep working on this releasing business.

the last thing i learned- as much as i want a relationship, as much as the lonelies can tackle me when i'm with my friends, all of whom are now coupled, it's just not something i can jump right into.

oh wait, the real last thing- i owe a lot to surrender. i'm gonna keep it in my back pocket.