emanon

i've thought about that feeling when her arm is around my waist, and that moment where you know you're right, and whether i would resist it next time, or give in, and the tap tap tap of the beat beat beat of something in my head that matches up with something in my chest that moves outside without thought.

i've thought about my thumb running across the line of your jaw.

i've thought about my tongue running across your teeth. to the top of your mouth.

and those words that keep falling out my mouth mostly to my surprise, sometimes pleasant, mostly foreign. dropping loneliness is like dropping morphine, with the shakes and trembles and spinning thoughts, but this time i know there's another side. so, i talk about what's easy, and i hope you know the rest by heart. because every time i've taken your hand i've been trying to tell you.

i've thought about walls, and hands and pressure and body against body, and the feel of your voice in my ear, and the taste of your smell on my lips, and i hope this drink lasts a very long time.